As a pastor, my life revolves around the church, the congregation, and the call to lead others in their walk with God. But as much as I feel called to serve the church, I am also deeply committed to my family. Balancing pastoral work with family life is a delicate dance, one that requires intentionality, grace, and a clear understanding of my priorities. In this blog, I want to share my thoughts on how I strive to balance my faith, my role as a pastor, and my commitment to my family, all while keeping God at the center.
The Importance of Family
Family has always been a cornerstone of my life. It’s where I find love, support, and strength. My wife, Samantha, and I have been married for 21 years, and together we’ve raised two incredible sons. We met at The City Church, and we’ve been serving the church together ever since. Our family is not just a part of my life—it is my life. The Bible tells us that our first ministry is our family, and I take this responsibility very seriously.
As much as I am dedicated to the work of the church, I know that my role as a husband and father comes first. My family provides me with the emotional and spiritual grounding I need to serve effectively. They remind me daily of the love and grace of God, and they help me stay focused on what truly matters. If I lose sight of my family, I risk losing my connection to the very people I am called to serve.
Setting Priorities: God, Family, Ministry
One of the biggest challenges of being a pastor is managing the demands of ministry while keeping family life intact. The truth is, pastoral work can be all-consuming. There are church services to lead, meetings to attend, and countless responsibilities to juggle. It can feel overwhelming at times, and there are days when I feel like there simply aren’t enough hours in the day. But I’ve learned that in order to serve my family and my church well, I need to set clear priorities.
First and foremost, my relationship with God comes before anything else. I cannot lead others if I’m not personally connected to the Lord. Spending time in prayer, studying the Bible, and seeking God’s guidance is non-negotiable. This time alone with God is what strengthens my faith and gives me the wisdom and discernment I need for both my family and my ministry.
Next, my family comes second. While my work is important, my wife and children need me, and I need them. We make it a priority to spend quality time together as a family, whether it’s over dinner, a weekend outing, or just sitting down and talking about life. This time is vital for nurturing our relationships and ensuring that we are spiritually and emotionally healthy as a family unit.
Finally, my role as a pastor must come third. I am called to serve the church and the community, and I take this calling seriously. However, I’ve come to understand that if I am not taking care of my relationship with God and my family, I won’t be able to serve others effectively. I’ve learned to set boundaries in my work, ensuring that I don’t allow the demands of ministry to overshadow the time and attention my family needs.
Creating Boundaries in Ministry
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned over the years is the need to create boundaries between my work and family life. As a pastor, it’s easy to feel like you are always “on”—people need you, the church needs you, and it can be tempting to give in to the pressure to be available 24/7. But if I’m constantly giving my time and energy to others, I risk neglecting the people who matter most: my family.
I’ve learned to establish clear boundaries in my work, even when the demands of ministry are high. This means setting aside specific times for family, protecting my days off, and making sure that my wife and children know they are a priority. There will always be more to do in ministry, but if I don’t make time for my family, I’m failing in my most important role.
It’s also important to be realistic about what I can and cannot do. As much as I want to be there for everyone, I have to recognize that I am human, and there are only so many hours in the day. I’ve learned to say no to certain things and delegate when necessary. This allows me to focus on what truly matters, both in my family life and my ministry.
The Role of Samantha: A Team Effort
I am incredibly blessed to have a partner like Samantha by my side. She is not only my wife but also my ministry partner. Together, we serve the church and support one another in our individual and collective responsibilities. Samantha plays a crucial role in our family life, and her support allows me to focus on my pastoral duties without feeling overwhelmed.
We make decisions together, from how we spend our time as a family to how we approach ministry. Our shared vision for family and ministry helps us stay aligned and ensures that we are both working toward the same goals. We also rely on each other for emotional and spiritual support. There are times when one of us needs to step in and take the lead, and it’s comforting to know that we are in this together.
Our children are also part of the process. They understand that our ministry is a big part of our lives, but they also know that they are our priority. We involve them in our work when appropriate, and they know that the church family is an extension of our own family. They are learning the importance of serving others while also understanding the need for balance and boundaries.
Nurturing Our Family’s Faith
One of the greatest joys of balancing family and ministry is nurturing the faith of our children. Samantha and I are intentional about making sure that our home is a place where faith is central. We pray together, read Scripture together, and talk about how God is working in our lives. We want our children to see that faith isn’t just something we do on Sundays—it’s a way of life.
We also make sure to prioritize spiritual growth for ourselves as parents. We know that if we are not growing in our own faith, we cannot effectively lead our children in their spiritual journey. We support each other in our individual walks with God, encouraging one another to stay rooted in prayer and Scripture.
A Continuous Balance
Balancing pastoral work with family life is an ongoing process. It’s not something that can be easily perfected, but it’s something I am committed to working on every day. I want to lead my church with integrity and authenticity, but I also want to be the husband and father that God has called me to be. The key is finding balance—keeping God at the center, setting priorities, creating boundaries, and relying on the support of my wife and family.
In the end, I believe that both faith and family are gifts from God, and when we prioritize them rightly, we can serve both with passion and joy. As I continue to navigate this balance, I am reminded that both my ministry and my family are part of God’s calling on my life—and that is a calling worth embracing with all my heart.